2018 May, One Nil, Two Nil?, Hello there, This is how it is

One Nil

This is a picture of me with the vacuum cleaner.

It is one nil to one of us but I’m not sure which one.   It doesn’t feel as if it’s me if I’m entirely honest.

Mum has said if I didn’t shed so much hair then she wouldn’t have to vacuum so often.

I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do with that piece of information actually.

I expect I shall have to give myself a good talking to, or something….

 

 

Two Nil?

This is a picture of me with my new football.

I have definitely won this battle.  It didn’t take long but I am still a bit out of breath.

This was a brand new football a few minutes ago.

In fact it still is a brand new football but it won’t be useful as one any more.

But that’s Ok because I don’t play football.

 

Hello there

Hello there Saffron – you OK?

I am reaching out because I’d like a little bit of attention please.

No specific reason.

Just because I’m here and you’re here.

 

 

Is it a bird….?

This is a picture of me in the ‘new’ woods.

I am looking my typical gorgeous self and properly alert and most fabulous, if I say so myself.

Shortly after this I thought I saw a sheep through the fence.   I nearly dislocated Mums shoulder because I went for it at full tilt and managed to get up quite a speed.  I am very, very quick when I want to be.  Mum is significantly less quick.

Turns out it wasn’t a sheep at all.

It was a large black crow.

Easy mistake to make.

In any event it flew off after I had barked at it quite loudly for quite a long time, so mission accomplished I would say.

Mum said some other words.

 

This is how it is:

Me: (sits down to eat)

My Dog:

Me: Sorry, you can’t have any

My Dog:

Me: It’s not good for you

My Dog:

Me: I said no, not today

My Dog:

Me: Ok fine, you’ve convinced me

 

 

Saffron’s recommendations this month:

Music: Simply Red – a Mancunian soul and pop band from the mid 80’s  and still singing…. (Mum saw them at Wembley in 2003 – at least it was Mick Hucknall plus a band – amazing voice though).  Songs, mmmmnnnn…how to choose….

Holding back the Years

Stars

If You Don’t Know Me by Now

For Your Babies

Fairground

Something Got Me Started

It’s Only Love

Money’s Too Tight (to mention)

 

Reading:

The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson, published by Picador

A compelling adventure into the world of madness….how do we define normality in a world where we are increasingly judged by our maddest edges?  Also funny.

 

Film:

The Men Who Stare at Goats

A satirical, dark comedy, war film about attempts by the US military to harness psychic powers (also a book written by Jon Ronson) and starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Spacey. 

Let’s face it, the cast list should be enough to encourage you to watch this…..