2018 January – Unacceptably busy, Legalese, Outdoor Gear
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
Helen Keller
Unacceptably Busy
Thank you Helen but despite my resolve to keep happy (in spite of Mum), the outside world in 2018 seems unacceptably busy.
We went to the woods for a walk and the car park was rammed which is never a good sign. Then, out of nowhere, a deer came running towards us at full tilt and only swerved off the track when it was a few feet away from us. Obviously I went absolutely nuts.
Then there was what seemed to be a lost dog running around. It kept running up to us, probably because Mum has chicken treats. I was not happy about that at all. Those are my treats and there is not a chance of me sharing. I know that doesn’t sound very kind of me, but I don’t mind admitting I am a needy dog and I need those treats.
Then it was quiet for a while.
Then it hailed. Proper hail and we had to stay off the track for a bit until it stopped because I was flinching.
Then it rained. Mum, as usual didn’t have a proper coat so she had a complete sense of humour failure and decided enough was enough so we went back to the car. Unbelievably, the car park was even busier when we got back with lots of little humans and dogs everywhere.
I could see Mum taking deep breaths and bracing for impact but I was surprisingly calm, for me that is. I was just glad to get back in the car and be able to bark loudly at everything outside. Mum just let me get on with it. I think she’d had enough.
Legalese
This is me helping one of the offspring learn legal stuff.
It is hard work. There are a lot of words. Far too many complicated words with complicated meanings. I have a few favourite words like ‘chicken’ and ‘squirrel’ but these don’t seem to appear very often in the legal world according to the offspring. Well, she’s welcome to that world then.
In fact learning all these words is so exhausting that I have fallen asleep. Also my head is being stroked which is quite calming.
The offspring has an exam or something. I don’t know what that is but it sounds like something I would put on my ‘not enjoy’ list. Unlike having my head stroked which is definitely on my ‘enjoy’ list.
Outdoor Gear
This is me looking just gorgeous in the slightly snowy woods at the weekend.
I have just scared off another dog so I am feeling on top of things, if you know what I mean.
It is actually quite cold and Mum is all muffled up. I don’t even get offered a scarf which is pretty mean if you ask me. Lots of other dogs get proper coats and stuff.
The only clothes I have is a Christmas Elf outfit and that is indoors gear. Sort of cutesy and Christmassy but not entirely stylish modern and practical outerwear. At least not in a ‘Alpkit’ or ‘Arc’teryx’ kind of way. Which is what Mum has. She likes her technical clothing.
Maybe I could start my own label – what about Yves Dog Laurent or Saffron Channel?
I have been staring very long and hard at Mum and she’ll get the message eventually and get me my own credit card.
It’s only a matter of time.
Saffron’s recommendations this month:
Music: Try a little Simple Minds, a Scottish rock band formed in 1977 and still gigging. Good on them.
Don’t You (Forget About Me)
Alive and Kicking
Waterfront
Sanctify Yourself
All the Things She Said
Reading:
‘The Diving Bell and the Butterfly’ by Jean-Dominique Bauby, published by Fourth Estate.
Suffering a massive stroke which left him with locked in syndrome, the author (Editor in Chief of French Elle magazine) dictates this, his memoirs, using the movement of one eyelid. Quite astonishing. Goes to the core of what it means to exist as a human. He also founded the Association for Locked in Syndrome in 1996
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Film:
Good Will Hunting starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Robyn Williams. About love, faith and trust for a young genius IQ, orphaned at a young age working as a school janitor. Exploration of cultural stereotypes – before Damon and Affleck became big stars – and this gives the film a welcome edge and rawness.