2017 – August – Paint, Lawnmower, The Savage Beast, An Eye for an Eye, In the Ditch, Camouflage, 2 walks, squirrels

Paint

This is a picture of me trying not to sneeze.

I have practically given up.  Mum has been behaving incredibly strangely the past few days. It is stressing me out to be honest.

She has been out and bought something called paint.  And brushes.  And sandpaper.  And she has been painting the windowsills.  There was nothing really wrong with them in my opinion. They looked white enough to me.  But apparently not.

Believe me when I say the paint smells awful. It is playing havoc with my olfactory system I can tell you.  Apparently Mum meant to buy water based acrylic eggshell paint but she has only gone and bought oil based by accident.  It was on offer.  That’s no excuse. It smells horrible. I have been sneezing a bit just to make a point.

And it needs 2 coats.

Even Mum agrees it smells a bit strong and she can’t even have the windows open while she is painting because dust and all sorts of insects get stuck in the paint.

She said it is giving her a headache.

Serves her right if you ask me.

 

Lawnmower

And then to cap it all, Mum decided to cut the grass and weed the front garden.  Obviously I needed to make use of my trusted tennis ball to keep me calm.

I am worn out now from chasing the lawnmower.

And I had quite a long walk this morning on the common. There were quite a few dogs.    And quite few rabbits – only they were mostly hiding.

It would have been better if the dogs were hiding.

 

Savage Beast

This is a picture of me before I had worked out Mum’s sneaky plan.

The day started normally.

Cup of tea (Mum)

Wee in the garden (me)

Breakfast (Mum and me)

Walks (Mum and me)

Coffee (Mum)

Chew stick (me)

Mum started on the painting malarkey. Then she looked at me meaningfully and said she was putting on some classical music for a change (instead of that rock ‘n’ pop stuff).  She said it was good for soothing the Savage Beast.

I also overheard a conversation where Mum was going to the tip and then to Dunelm.

I am not stupid you know and I am putting 2 and 2 together.    Pets at Home is on the way to Dunelm.   I have a horrible sneaky suspicion that Mum is going to pick up a Savage Beast from Pets at Home. They are bound to have one. It’s quite a big shop.

This is what all the painting preparation is for.

And the tidying up.

And the classical music.

As you know I am a very tolerant dog but let me make it quite clear, there will be DIRE CONSEQUENCES if she does.

And I may need to call for emergency backup if things get nasty.

Which they very well might.

 

 

An Eye for an Eye

I have itchy eyes this morning by the way.  In fact this may well be an emergency actually.  A real one.

Mum took me to the vets.  I had stuff put in my eyes and UV lights shone at me. I was not amused.  It was a solo vet which was better than last time but not much.

I have conjunctivitis.

I have eye drops twice a day now.

My eyes are still itchy so they’re not working.

Mum says I have no patience.

 

In the Ditch

This is a picture of me (and Mum) hiding in a ditch in the woods to avoid some really rather dangerous looking humans and dogs.

Some of the humans were mini humans and noisy in a screamy, shrieky way.  They’ll never sneak up on anything like that.

Mum has gone all wildernessy today because we have hardly been on a path at all.

I expect we will get lost again. I have done lots of sniffing, mainly because there is lots to sniff when you go off-piste as it were.

I also expect we’ll find a bear or a tiger.   Which might not be such a good thing especially if they are hungry.

Anyway I’ll be fine because I can run quite fast but they’ll probably get Mum.

 

Camouflage

This is me in stealth mode. I think I am quite well camouflaged but I’m really more suited to desert camouflage given my natural golden colour.  However, we don’t seem to have any deserts round here.

Anyway the human and his dog went past without seeing me so it must work.

Also the fact that I didn’t bark at all probably helped.  And they were quite a long way away.

I expect they saw Mum.

She is useless at camouflage although she did get a few leaves in her hair when we were in the ditch the other day.

 

2 Walks

Mum has taken me out for 2 walks so now I am out of breath. I think it might have been because I was a bit restless yesterday and I have been barking a lot at pretty much everything today.

Mum said it was getting on her nerves.

Anyway I barked at a horse and some dogs while we were out but I think I’ll stop now and have a snooze instead.

Mum has also been researching her ancestry – apparently some of the family are from Lairg which is in Scotland and practically in the Arctic Circle. The rest are either from Ireland or Huguenots escaping persecution from French Catholicism.

Mum asked if I’d like to go to Scotland  but being a dog of Spanish origin I may decline.  It’s miserable enough weather here.

Mum can always bring me back a nice tartan dog blanket (apparently there is a family tartan, so that’ll do nicely).

 

Squirrels

Here is a picture of me in the woods today.  I am giving Mum a bit of a look because she has been pretty useless today.

For a start she was on the phone when a pack of seriously ferocious dogs ran past us.  They were barking like crazy and so was I.   Mum had to end her call and sort me out.

Then we avoided some other dogs by going deep into the wild woods.

The squirrels have been a bit irritating today because they are running around everywhere collecting acorns and dropping them.  I saw a squirrel on the ground so I crashed through the brambles to get it.    I also found a dead Magpie which was a good sniff until Mum realised what it was and said we needed to go.

Then my foot started hurting. And yes I could have sat down and taken a look but I carried on walking funny and sort of limping. Because that’s Mum’s job to sort things out and she hadn’t even noticed.

Useless.

Eventually she made me stop and took a proper look. I had a stick with acorns attached to it wedged between my toes. It must have been a squirrel boobytrap.  No wonder I couldn’t walk.

But I’m better now, thank you for asking.

 

 

Saffron’s recommendations this month:

Music: Oh yes, some George Michael – how can you refuse? And why would you? There are so many to choose from, here’s a sample.

Jesus to a Child

Kissing a fool

Careless Whisper

The Edge of Heaven

A Different Corner

Praying for Time (just amazing lyrics)

I Can’t Make You Love Me   (the saddest song ever – killer lyrics)

 

 

Reading (fiction): ‘The Tenderness of Wolves’ by Stef Penney, published by Quercus .  This is what has already been written about this book – ‘In an astonishingly assured debut, Stef Penney deftly weaves adventure, suspense, revelation, and humor into an exhilarating thriller; a panoramic historical romance; a gripping murder mystery; and, ultimately, with the sheer scope and quality of her storytelling, an epic for the ages.’       Nothing more to add.

 

Film: The Revenant, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy.  Based in the early 1800’s in frontier country – a survival story in a violent and unpredictable environment.  Described as harsh and bleak but starkly beautiful.  A good story and multi award nominated, plus Leo won his first Oscar – go Leo.