2022 March – Off Piste, Selfies, Not Disturbing Mum, Soggy, High Five, Appealing, Got my Goat, Offspring #2, Online Dating

Off Piste

This is a picture of lovely me sniffing something very exciting.

Today we have gone off piste again.   Going all wildernessy in winter means it’s much easier to find a way through the wild woods.

When we got back there was a wildlife ranger (?) in the car park and Mum ended up chatting to him about the woods.  This was after I had kicked off and caused a barky sort of a fuss – which got his attention in the first place.

Apparently they have set up camera traps in the woods to track the deer and other wildlife populations.  Given the number of times we go off piste in the woods, I expect Mum and I are part of the wildlife count now.

 

Selfies

This is a selfie of me and Mum.

Unlike me, she’s not very photogenic if you ask me.

This is a slightly better selfie now that I’ve cleaned her up.

 

Not disturbing Mum

This is a picture of me being very good and not waking Mum up first thing in the morning.

I might have woken her up around midnight because of the leaves blowing about outside the front door and I may have been a bit barky at about 2am as well.

So now I’m feeling a bit tired myself.

 

Soggy

This is a picture of me out and about later on.

It is raining and very soggy underfoot so we are keeping to the paths today. As usual Mum doesn’t have a coat, just a fleecy.  Mum says her fleecy is pretty soggy now as well.

I’m ignoring her because honestly she’s old enough to know about things like rain by now.

 

High Five

Yo just chillin’

 

Mum has been out (and there’s no other word for it really) terrorising the garden.    She listened to Monty last autumn and didn’t clear stuff up too much before winter.

Well, the stuff is mostly in the green bin now.  Some of it fought back by being a bit scratchy and cutty.   Mum doesn’t wear gloves or anything sensible (gotta get your hands in the soil Saffron) so she’s been lacerated.  Quite a bit actually.

Story of her life – do something stupid, pay the price.

I know.

I’ve tried but she won’t listen to me.

You know what she can be like.

 

Appealing

This is a picture of me looking appealing.

I am appealing for a treat.

I have a feeling it will be a successful appeal.

It usually is.

 

 

Got my Goat

This is a picture of me hearing a piece of unexpected news.

As you can tell from my face, it is not something I am finding terribly ‘amusant’.

Mum was talking to someone about stuff that is unfair.  She said it had really ‘got her goat’.

Woah!  Why am I only hearing about this goat for the first time now?  Obviously something really, super, incredibly unfair must have happened because Mum definitely doesn’t have a goat anymore.

Or if she has, I’ve no idea where she’s keeping it.

Nope, she defo hasn’t got a goat.

Do you think I might be the goat replacement?

If they’ve already ‘got her goat’, maybe I’m next?  Maybe they might be trying to ‘get her dog’?

Well, if they try anything, they’ll be in for a shock, I can tell you.

I won’t go quietly.

 

Just loving this Fun Fact: ‘Get my Goat’ means to make someone annoyed or angry and (weirdly) comes from a tradition in horse racing.   A goat might be left in the stall of a highly-strung racehorse the night before a race because it was believed it would have a calming effect on the horse.  Unscrupulous opponents would then try to steal the goat in an effort to upset the horse and cause it to lose the race.

 

Offspring #2

This is a picture of me with offspring #2

She’s back from overseas for a while so I’m making the most of it.  😍

 

Online Dating

This is a picture of me trying to convince Mum to be sensible.

It hasn’t worked.

In her wisdom, Mum has decided to opt for a spot of online dating.  Can you believe it?

I can’t.

She reckons 6 years being just me and her should be enough recovery time and maybe, now that we’re heading towards a more normal post-Covid world, she should dip her toes in the water again.

Well.

That’s just rude if you ask me.

I obviously require and deserve all of her attention.   I expect I might retaliate and do a bit of online dating myself.  See how she likes that eh?

My online profile would probably be a bit like this.

Seeking: Courageous, patient, chilled, kind hearted, big boned and chunky doggo.   GSOH and a bit of silliness appreciated.   When you break through my suspicion and guardedness you’ll be rewarded with snuggles and 100% devotion and commitment.  If you’re indifferent to chicken, that’s a bonus, but if not I’ll just have to get Mum to buy more, which may not be an entirely bad thing anyway, thinking about it…..  

Mum reckons this isn’t vastly different to her own dating profile preferences, as it happens.

Except I’m much better looking and definitely more of a catch.

Who could resist me eh?

Not many people, so far.

 

Saffron’s recommendations this month:

Music: Let’s have a little Ed Sheeran shall we?  Lots of stuff to choose from but here are some you’ll know for sure.   Ed is a supporter of Ipswich Town and has been given squad no: 17 shirt apparently. 

Shivers

Perfect

Thinking out Loud

Shape of You

Sing

The Joker and the Queen

Bad Habits

 

Reading: New Scientist Magazine – do you know what ARE is?  It’s Autonomous Robot Evolution.  A project conceived to produce robots that can replicate, evolve and adapt without too much (if any) interference from humans.   Artificial evolution goals can be programmed in – so robots design themselves over multiple generations to have a lower carbon footprint or be more energy efficient.  So some good stuff.   Though, even at this early stage, the scientists are accepting the need for an ‘off’ switch.   

I think we’d prefer fact NOT to follow fiction, if it’s all the same to you.    

 

Films:  The Terminator films starring Arnie Schwarzenegger.  Skynet (AI super intelligence plus robots) versus what’s left of the human race.  There are six films in the franchise –  The Terminator, Judgement Day, Rise of the Machines, Salvation, Genisys, and Dark Fate.  Arnie’s been in them all.       You really, really wouldn’t want to get in the way of the T-X or the T-1000.  Ever.   Best enjoyed with surround sound if you can manage it. 

 

In the news:

Researchers in the Antarctic announce they have found Endurance, which sank in 1915 during Ernest Shackleton’s exploration.

Global death toll from Covid-19 surpassess 6 million

Over 60 people killed in a suicide attack on a Shia Mosque in Peshawar, Pakistan.

2022 Winter paralympics held in Beijing – it’s the first city to host both Winter and Summer paralympics

Expo 2022 closes in Dubai after a 6 month run

Ukraine – aaaah – terrible, terrible scenes – increased sanctions, increased hostility, more deaths, possible ‘running out of steam’ of the Russian invasion forces but who really knows.