2017 – July – Home Alone, Hunting Squirrel, Hiding from Horses, Graduation, You Ain’t Going Nowhere
Home Alone
I have had a bit of a weird week to be honest.
Mum and I are home alone for some reason and she is quite boring actually. Well, I get to go on regular walks, sometimes 2 a day, and I am still getting food (not enough chicken) and we do play games and stuff but it is a bit quiet. Even the pigeons seem to have left the garden.
Some of Mums friends have been over. One of them feeds me bits when she thinks it’s safe, so we have an ‘understanding’. I like her.
One of Mum’s other friends sang to me in soprano and I just stared at her. I mean really stared. I have never heard a human do that before. Apparently musically it is pretty good but I jumped on her anyway once she had stopped just to check she was OK.
I think I may weigh more than her so maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. She seemed surprised anyway.
Mum still keeps going out unexpectedly (for work). I think she needs to give that up, it is getting in the way of my life. So I retaliate by sleeping on her bed and messing up the covers. She has stayed in with me a couple of days recently. I think she feels guilty.
Hunting Squirrel
This is a picture of me hunting squirrel.
I have been standing like this watching my prey for a very long time. My prey is acting as if it doesn’t care. Well it will when I catch it, I can tell you.
Today I have been out to the woods for along walk. We went a different way to normal which meant we got lost, of course. Mum was stubborn and refused to use her phone to find the car, so we were out for much longer than necessary. Apparently she wanted to find our way back by ‘working it out’.
She ought to take more notice of me. I knew my way back – but would she follow me? No.
When we got back to the car park I practically dragged her to the car just in case she got any funny ideas about going a scenic route or something.
Mum forgot to put the cover over my cage so I barked quite a lot on the way home. I could see her rolling her eyes in the mirror but I didn’t care. She can’t drive and deal with me at the same time.
Also I think Mum is drugging me. I have worming tablets which is OK I guess – better than lungworm anyway. But another suspicious bottle has appeared. Under normal circumstances I would spit them out but Mum wraps 5 of them in chicken. Which is a bit sneaky if you ask me.
They are recommended from the animal behaviourist and apparently are herbal and are supposed to make me a bit less super stressed around other dogs. I reckon it will take more than 5 tablets a day to do that.
Perhaps Mum should take them instead of me and then she won’t care if I’m super stressed around other dogs.
Hiding from Horses
This is a picture of me in the woods. I am waiting patiently because there are horses on the track ahead of me and I am waiting for them to go past.
I don’t know what it is about horses – they always look a bit shifty to me – as if they are up to no good. They have this weird way of looking sideways at me and I don’t like it. Well to be honest I am not keen on anything staring at me, least of all sideways. I shouted at them a bit, only a little bit, and I don’t think they will be coming back.
It has finished raining for now so it is actually quite nice to be out and about. It is quite muddy though with lots of puddles. I go straight into the middle of every puddle I can see. The muddier the better. Mum goes around the edges. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. I’ve tried to encourage her but she doesn’t seem keen.
Mum forgot to put the cover on my cage again today and there were lots of cyclists out today. So I cheerfully shouted at them all on the way home. Mum says I really don’t have to. But actually, I really do.
Graduation
Mum has left me again. Apparently offspring #4 has graduated but that’s no excuse if you ask me. I’ve been left in charge of offspring #3 and you know how difficult she can be.
I am having to focus very hard.
Apparently Mum has made a new friend. She has sent a picture.
I don’t hold out many chances that her new friend will have a long and pleasant life if she decides to bring them home.
Just saying.
You ain’t going nowhere
This is a picture of me last night with both my paws on Mum’s feet.
Just to make sure.
It worked because the only place she went after that was to bed.
Saffron’s recommendations this month:
Music: We’re opting for Jimmy Somerville (Communards / Bronski Beat and solo)
Smalltown Boy
Don’t leave me this way
Read my Lips (Enough is Enough)
Why
You Make me Feel
So Cold the Night
You are my World
Reading: The long way to a small angry planet by Becky Chambers, published by Hodder. A quirky debut novel giving a kaleidoscope of human and alien behaviour. Drilling tunnels through hyperspace to connect distant planets, the crew of the Wayfarer are a mishmash of species and personalities. Imaginative, fun and slightly Guardians of the Galaxy-esque.
Film: Inception, a sci-fi action film with a terrific cast. It is layer upon layer of a sort of lucid dreaming reality set within a shared dream space. If you watch this for the first time and are able to follow the plot then, frankly, you’re doing better than me. But that’s only a reason to watch it again. Intriguing doesn’t really cover it and the cinematography is superb. Give it a go. Yes, you really should.